a crush revealed

My friend, "Bob" [who's actually one of my friends but I won't mention his real name] just picked me up in his car from somewhere. He takes me to campus and we're walking together. I have no idea where he's taking me. We go on campus and walk up this grassy hill and I can feel his awkwardness. I'm wondering what's wrong with him. As we're climbing the hill, I start to see a bunch of notebook papers and posters taped to wooden sticks that are planted in the grass. They all form a small circle.

As we continue to walk up the hill, Bob hands me a crinkled notebook paper. As I open it, Bob puts his hands on my shoulder. The note says, "Lydie, I have one more thing to give you." I look at him and he has this shy, embarrassed smile on his face. We continue walking up and we finally get to all those planted signs. I scan through them and I realize, Bob made all this for me. This was his way of telling me he liked me. But for some reason, I look at all the signs and they're facts about war, China, immigration, and other random political topics. Somehow, I still feel like this is his way of telling me he likes me [weird, I know].

Because he set this up in the middle of campus, other students are walking by and looking at it. He invited all my friends, from Cali and my cohort, and everyone's eating from this buffet table. Bob had quietly left me to read all of the signs and posters. I'm talking to my friends and I see Bob talking to someone away from the crowd, looking up to stare at me once in awhile. I can't hear him but I just know that he's telling his friend how he hopes I like what he did for me. My friends ask, "Well, what are you gonna do??! He did all this for you!" and I say, "I don't know.. I feel so bad, I have a boyfriend."

And then... I wake up.

pedophile

I'm sitting on these middle school-like lunch benches inside a room. It's filled with all of my peers in my Master's cohort. Kevin decides to sit across from me and next to my friend, Kara, and another friend [Don't remember who]. He makes some annoying and mean comments and Kara whispers something about Kevin to my friend, but she whispers too loudly and Kevin hears her. He pretends he doesn't hear anything though. Then, he makes another mean remark and Kara "whispers", "I don't want to sit next to him, let's just move." At that, Kevin gets angry and says "Go ahead, move, I don't care." I feel so bad because I can see the hurt in his eyes. Kara and my friend scoot to the other side of the bench where I'm at and I feel terrible for Kevin because now he's just sitting by himself.

This "banquet" is now a presentation for Postsecret and the founder, Frank, instructs us to get up and share one of our secrets to the room. After doing so, we were then allowed to sit down [awkward]. One girl starts, then another, but eventually everyone pretends they've talked and just sits down. It's over so I head out. I'm in Teacher's College and as I'm walking down the stairs, I see a playground on the same level I'm on, the 6th floor. I go outside and it's beautiful, trees and murals everywhere. I walk down the stairs and at the lowest level is a playground FILLED with HUNDREDS of little kids! It felt like a water amusement park.

I walk by these 3 kids and 2 of them are asking the other kid's name, he says "Nadash, my name is Nadash." And the 2 other kids say, "That can't be your name, let's change it.. ok, your name's going to be Adam."

Then I walk through these hundreds of kids and spot a creepy man talking to a little girl who's hugging the fence. I'm facing them and listening but they don't notice me. The man is trying to tell the little girl to come with him but an older woman next to the little girl tells her not to. The man walks away and I ask the lady, "Why don't you get this man out of here? Kick him out!! He's obviously a pedophile!" And she answers, "I can't.. he's not a registered sex offender. He's always been around here. We don't have physical evidence against him. We have no proof. We can't do anything. There are some security around though if anything does happen." And she points towards 1 man whose back is turned while he's watching the hundreds of kids he's surrounded with.

I walk a little further and I spot the man again and tell him, "You pedophile, get the **** out of here." He looks at me with a creepy smile and I jump in the pool, fully clothed, to get to the other side. As I'm swimming, [slowly, like in all dreams] I keep looking back to keep an eye on the man, I then see him tug on a little girl's shirt, telling her to come with him. Nobody is watching and I'm in the middle of the pool, surrounded by kids, so I can't scream cause no one will hear me, but I'm too far to swim back. I keep swimming and keep looking back. Then all of a sudden, I look back, and the man and the little girl are both gone into the crowd.

And then... I wake up.

guns

I think I'm a cop... or some sort of detective, or maybe just a regular bystander. I'm walking behind this group of teenagers who look extremely suspicious. They keep looking back but it seems that I'm invisible because they look past me. Then, one of the kids says something along the lines, "Man, let's get rid of this, I don't want to get in trouble." His friends tell him not to, but while they walk ahead, he lags a little behind and throws a gun away inside a trash can.

All I can think of is, catch these kids, they're up to no good. I look into the trash can and there's the gun. I forget if I pick it up or leave it there but I continue to follow these kids. They turn a corner or go behind a wall..

And then... I wake up.

waves

[First, a little background. Last year, my best friend and I volunteered at Catalina and the program director's sister is this girl named Kyla Langen, who's the most laid back girl I've ever met. Little did we know until after the trip that she's actually a professional surfer!]

I'm in my studio and Kyla and this other girl are there. They've been staying at my place for awhile and it was time for them to pack up and leave. I opened my curtains and the beach is literally right outside. The waves are GIGANTIC.

I'm actually a little scared they'll destroy my house, but I just watch them in amazement. Then, I hear Kyla tell the girl, "Come on, I didn't teach you the whole time we lived here, so I'll teach you how to surf right now!!" I thought to myself, "Are you crazy?? You're gonna teach her..in these waves?? She'll die!" But part of me wanted to go too, so I went and got ready. [It's not often you can say you were taught how to surf by a professional surfer]. But then, my doorbell rings and I look through the peephole.

It's my friend from high school, Jamie and her fiance [whom I've never met!]. I let them in and they wanted to surprise me and tell me goodbye before leaving. Though I don't know where they were leaving. Her fiance compliments how great my apartment looks and keeps talking and the whole time, I just think to myself.. "Wait.. I haven't met you. We need to introduce ourselves to each other first!" haha.

And then... I wake up.

late to class

I'm in a living room with a bunch of girls I don't know and one of my guy friends from Cali, Carlitos. It looks like some sort of meeting. We're all sitting on a couch and this guy walks in. He's apparently a prince and all the girls have to curtsy to him in whichever way your favorite Disney princess does it [what the fffuh..?]. I pick Pocahontas so I don't have to do the whole curtsy thing and all I have to do is wave my hand in a circle.

Before I do that, Carlitos gets up and gets his bag pack and that's when I realize we're late to class!!!

We rush downstairs and go inside the classroom. It's all dark. I panic because I'm thinking that I had a class earlier, but completely forgot about it because I was in that meeting. I ask one of the girls what the class was about and she responds, "Don't worry, you didn't miss out on much, just read.. a lot, and there's a final paper due tomorrow." Great. But I look in my planner and realize I actually didn't have class. Then, I look to the front of the room, it's still dark mind you, and I see my professor. I've supposedly had him before and I hate him [but I've never seen this man before]. He begins lecturing..

And then... I wake up.

scorpion

I'm in this computer lab with a couple of my friends in my cohort [can't remember exactly who] and other people I don't know. All of a sudden, I feel something go up my arm, I pull up my sleeve and it's a tiny baby scorpion. I flick it off but it's too late, it already stung me. All of a sudden, I feel this huge pain in my arm and where the scorpion stung me becomes bumpy and red.

My mom is there and I'm crying about the pain because it feels like my entire arm is on fire and throbbing non-stop. She looks at it and tries to squeeze the poison out, which only makes it hurt more. There's a scratch, where apparently the scorpion's stinger scratched me, so my mom is trying to get the poison out through that opening, but it only makes me bleed.

All of a sudden, all these people are researching online about this sting, the symptoms, and what I need to make it better [thanks for taking me to the hospital, guys?]. Then, my friend, Lia, comes in and is wondering what everyone's working on and when they tell her, she acts bored [what a friend, haha].

And then... I wake up.

books in a backyard

I'm in what is supposed to be my apartment with my boyfriend. I'm so excited that he's finally arrived here. [My boyfriend is coming to visit me in 2 weeks!!!]. Unfortunately, I realize that it's already the day before he leaves, which means he's leaving tomorrow. A bunch of my friends are over and we look outside of my patio to find my neighbor's backyard filled with thousands of books everywhere.

A couple of people are looking through the books, so my friends and I decide to go down and look at them too. Then, I realize that my patio door is a 2-sided mirror [like in cop rooms where they interrogate people]. So my friends and I are having fun with that.. we're being silly and messing around. Then, I look out my patio and it's now just flat land, but rocky, and there are these huge crevices..

And then... I wake up.

aquarium inside a school

I'm in this school bus, that's actually a boat, filled with high school kids in uniforms. They're all white, not one single Asian, Black, Hispanic face in sight. They're taking me on a tour of their school. It is absolutely humongous!!!! They have these huge river-like "fountains" that people could swim in and the tallest buildings, which consist of their classrooms. And the design of their school was amazingly beautiful. [It kind of looked like St. Basils in Russia, except all shades of blue].

Then, I go inside this cave, which turns out to be an aquarium. I'm flabbergasted, they have an aquarium?? Inside their school???

And then, I realize my friend, Angie, is in the bus with me too. The ceiling of the bus magically disappears so we're surrounded by fish. She and I are just so amazed by everything around us and can't believe this is true. We turn to our left and there is this HUGE, I mean.. literally, HUGE walrus. I mean, it's as big as an elephant!

Angie takes a bunch of pictures as we're quickly passing through this cave. Finally, we exit... and it's through the bookstore. [Yep.. we were a boat-bus inside the student bookstore].

And then... I'm in another dream.

secret spy?

I'm in this huge house and I'm running around trying to find someone.. or maybe trying to hide from someone. I run into my RA from undergrad [he was the most horrible RA ever]. He's laughing cause he's hiding something and he won't tell me what. He runs away with his friends. I try to get into my friend's door secretly because I'm apparently a secret undercover spy.

My RA comes at me and wants to get in the door, but I try to push him off and tell my friend to open the door but only to me. I manage to get through the door but my RA is too strong and he opens the door too so he can get in. I feel a lot of tension as if my mission has been ruined.

And then... I wake up.

lasagna

I feel like I'm at an amusement park, but then it turns into me being inside kind of like a cafeteria hall. I look around and a lot of people I recognize from high school are there. One person that stands out is my friend, Lisa. Her hair looks extra blonde [she's dyed it brown, so it was weird seeing her as a blonde again] and she looks pretty young, well.. high school age. We walk around and she finds these ladies who are serving free hot dogs. [Of course, I'm SO down]. I walk over to the table and see this person that I did not really like in high school, so I try and avoid eye contact.

Finally get to the table and all the hot dog buns are torn or into small pieces. At this point, I REALLY want a hot dog. The place turns into a mini buffet inside a cafeteria still... I find a package of new hot dog buns, but once I grab for one and put it on the grill, it's fragile and I can barely keep it in one piece. Grab the hot dog once it's done and get some other food. Lisa has gone somewhere and I look around and feel lost.. I have no one to sit with, what to do? I feel like the new kid in school all over again. I walk around and finally find her. She has lasagna on her place. [I.love.lasagna. Enough said.]. I ask her where she got it and she points to a nearby table.

I get a small piece [even in my dream, I don't want to look like a fatass] and walk to where Lisa is sitting. I'm so excited for this piece of lasagna.. I seriously can't wait to eat it. Then this guy, bumps into me and drops my entire plate of food! I get so angry! He turns around only for a little bit, not even apologizing, and I yell at him, "Hey, yeah, you! You dropped my food!!!" He continues walking while looking back and mumbling something.. he was high/drunk/something.

And then... I wake up.

Kevin Costner

I was at my house back in Cali. My parents were telling me to clean up the house because Kevin Costner was on his way to our house. [I didn't even watch/talk/hear about Kevin Costner before going to bed]. For some reason, I was super excited! All I could think about was telling my friends that Kevin Costner was coming to my house.

My room is filled with boxes and there are clothes everywhere. [I'm the most clean freak person you could ever meet so this was weird]. I tried cleaning everything up but it seemed like there was more and more clothes piling up. I ran into my parents' room to try and hide stuff there, but their room was unbelievably clean. [Even in my dream I was shocked, my parents have boxes and files everywhere!].

As I'm looking for places to hide my clothes, I hear my uncle's voice. [He recently passed away in November]. I stop and listen carefully and yes, it is him. I'm shocked, I don't know what's going on. I open my parents' door and he's standing there by the stairs with my cousin. He's laughing and smiling. He looks a little bigger than his normal size. I'm just speechless. Somehow.. out of nowhere, I know that Kevin Costner has invented these robots for people to have their loved ones back with them, so that's why he came to my house.. To bring me my uncle.. as a robot. My mom is bawling her eyes out. Then, my uncle laughs and looks at me and says "What's wrong? Come here! Don't be scared?" But I'm so creeped out that I stand still and I just start crying.

And then... I wake up.

welcome to my subconscious

I wish I would've thought of doing this earlier but I've JUST gotten into the blogging world, so forgive me for this late idea..

I wanted to keep track of all the weird dreams I have, instead of telling someone about it and never remembering them. Maybe I can look back and decipher them one of these days, maybe not. I do want to look back and see what kind of psychotic and weird subconscious state of mind I have.

Welcome to my subconscious :)